Last night I had to let the little love of my heart go. My best friend, my little spirit animal, my little familiar of the last 12 years, Caesar. The littlest king, little sunny suave, of the softest ears and the bravest heart, the sweetest intentions, and the never-ending appetite.

All he ever wanted out of life was long hikes, hunting varmints and eating garbage. I gave him some of those wishes. If you ever met him you know how smart and sneaky and sweet he was. He was always glad to see you and he would always eat the butter you left on the impossibly high counter top when you weren’t looking. He could climb rocks like a mountain goat, hike rivers, mountains and snow, he killed rabbits, rats, mice, and tried to fight raccoons.

Three years ago, when I had Nicholas and Caesar’s world was turned upside-down, he didn’t really take to Nicky until Nicky started eating real food. Once the pact of left-over-eater and left-over-giver was made Caesar was completely kid-bullet-proof. Nicky could yell, kick and scream and Caesar would quietly and sweetly take whatever he gave him.

He saved me once, when I made the mistake of staying out on a trail too late. Dark fell and it was cold and I couldn’t see the trail or 10 feet in front of me. I let him take the lead and I followed his little white body in the darkness, the rest of the way home, arriving at the car and wondering what I would have done without him.

He was all heart, and it made me braver, sweeter and softer to be his human.

If you ever met him, or loved him tell me a story, here or in person. I’m so thankful for all my friends and all of his friends right now more than ever.