I lost my best friend on October 18, 2022.

It was shocking and unexpected though he had a cancer diagnosis. He was diagnosed with an insulinoma (cancer in his pancreas) in December 2020. He was given 6 months to a year to live but we caught it early and I learned how to care for him and we were able to prolong his life. He was doing great. We got back from a long weekend at the beach and on the early morning of October 18th he woke me up at 2 am and we went to the emergency vet because he wasn’t feeling good. I had never seen him like that before. My sister, Cindy, was with me at 3:30 am. We were rushed back to the table where Sam was laying. He had started to go, and we were able to get back to him just in time to say goodbye. He was in so much pain. The vet started to administer the euthanasia medication before I could even give the okay. Sam was gone. I dreaded this day. He had an obstruction in his abdomen and it wasn’t the cancer he passed from. This has to be the hardest part of it all. I had a plan for him and thought I knew what and how he was going to go. Maybe it was better this way because I could have never of let him go. Never. I didn’t go to the vet thinking I was going to walk out of there without him.

It is tough to type this and relive the details but after 3 + months it is time for me to honor him. I couldn’t bring myself to write this because it made it true. My breath still is taken away by the reality that he is gone. I still go on our walks and retrace the steps and memories we had together. There was so much more to him than the tragic and horrible end of his life but that is what replays in my head over and over. He is irreplaceable and has taken part of me with him. He was more than a pet; he was a best friend, companion, child and my furry love of my life. I write this for him and what an impact he had on my life for the last 13 years.

He was born on November 5, 2009. I was not expecting to get a dog but was the best decision I could have ever made. He was always by my side, and we did everything together. He loved the water and would swim, boat, and paddle board with me. He was with me through many ups and downs of life. He was the only constant and friend I could count on. So many moments we shared together with smiles and laughs. He had a huge personality and quirks. He loved blankets and finding a cozy spot, usually on my lap or near me. He loved laying in the sun or by the fireplace. He was very curious and had a puppy like personality and never showed his age. After moving to Bend, we walked every day. Walking through the neighborhood people would stop and want to know all about him and thought he was a puppy. He owned the house and he just let me live here, ha! I was the lucky one. He loved toys, balls, and bones. He had a keen sense of people, and he had an impact on many, not just me. I miss our bike rides together around the neighborhood. There is so much to say about him. I miss his kisses, him running up the stairs and looking back at me when he was ready for bed, waking up to him in the morning, the way he acted when he wanted a treat, loving and caring for him. He was spoiled.

When he passed, I know how much he was loved by the flowers and cards that I had from people who he impacted. He will be missed. I have my memories and so many pictures to remember and honor him.

Sam, you will never be forgotten. Always loved and forever in my heart. You were a gift, and I am so grateful to of shared life with you. I love you, always.